Beauty begins within: Love to love

Friday July 24th 2009

I was watching a well known talk show a little while ago. The topic of discussion was women of color who bleach their skin with the goal of being lighter complexioned. There was one woman in particular who not only bleached her own skin, but went as far as bleaching her children's skin. She stated that she didn't want her children to endure the same emotional torment she suffered at the hands of schoolmates due to her darker skin color. She spoke of an overall feeling of inadequacy and inferiority. The show's host clearly didn't approve and did not mince her words when she expressed her disgust at the "Mother Bleacher's" behavior. Well the TV show host in question is a lighter skinned individual, therefore she was so far removed from the plight of her darker skinned guests.

It made me question where society's beauty ideals emanate from. We live in a society where most people strive to meet expectations set forth by "authority figures". Beauty falls under this realm. The media has a lot to do with what people perceive as beautiful. There are images of gorgeous people plastered everywhere. The tall, slender, light skinned woman, with an ample bosom is portrayed as the dream woman for most men. Is this the case though? Are all darker skinned women unattractive to men and therefore wallowing in imposed singlehood? Are all men wired the same way and therefore attracted to the same type of woman? Is there no hope for women who fall short of society's perception of beauty? I think not!

The women on the aforementioned show spoke of rejection by men which they blamed on their darker skin tones. In as much as I empathized with them, their statements raised a few questions. Could it just be that they lacked self-confidence, and therefore were not attractive to men? Could it be that they were so caught up with blaming their rejection on their skin color that they may have overlooked their own personality shortcomings? I don't have the answers to these questions, however I will say this; the greatest love of all is love for oneself. When armed with self confidence; high self esteem;a strong sense of self; however you may want to refer to it, one does not see the need to conform to norms unattainable by most. That being said, the greatest love of all may also be the most difficult love to obtain. Without a doubt feelings of inadequacy can't be overcome overnight. It's a work in progress; baby steps are key. Remember Rome was not built in a day! It's a difficult task, but possible nonetheless.

"If someone doesn't like who you are, just find someone who does..."
Keep it moving...

SoulSistah09

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